I would like to say my coming out was like a movie – that I fell madly and unexpectedly for a girl and was ostricised by my family, so we eloped only to be found and told we were now accepted… But in actuality it’s much simpler and more boring than that. The fact is, I’ve been pretty damn lucky. I’ve had barely any homophobia or trouble since coming out, from anyone. And I appreciate that every day.
I came out when I was fifteen. It happened quite suddenly, after I’d been pondering it for a few days and then blurted it out to my mum over breakfast. Since I was young I’ve thought women were more beautiful and generally attractive than men (for me), but I always assumed this was normal. I remember being pretty young and out in the woods by myself, and seeing a discarded copy of some ‘men’s mag’ on the verge and peering over inquisitively, not shocked or disgusted by these naked women but just intrigued. I’d always been supportive of LGBT issues yet had never really considered I could be on the spectrum until that day I told my mum. At the time I had a boyfriend and had previously only (I thought) had crushes on boys. I told my mum I was bisexual, and told my friends – only one of whom had a problem with it. And from then on it just seemed quite simple. My boyfriend of the time was lovely about it, and to this day we still get on well.
After I broke up with my boyfriend a few months later I started looking back at my life, and realised that in fact, I’d had many a crush on women since I was little – my main ones were Mel from ‘My Parents Are Aliens’, Kayley from ‘Magic Sword, Quest for Camelot’ and Jo from ‘Little Women’. It was then that I met my current girlfriend, and we were soon best friends despite a 100 mile distance and 4 year age difference. People, her and my mum included, insisted that I was into her but for some reason I was oblivious for months.
I started college in September 2012 and had been with my girlfriend for a few months, she was the only person I’d ever really enjoyed kissing, ever slept with or wanted to sleep with and only person I’d ever felt I really loved. I realised after a bit of contemplation that I was definitely, completely into women. And pretty much only women. So I began to identify as solely gay, I got more involved in the LGBT community, I met other gay people and started to feel and dress more like the ‘real me’, who it turned out was a massive freaking lesbian.
My friends and I sometimes look back and go ‘how the hell did we not realise?’ because now I’m just ‘so gay’. But I think sometimes that’s just the way it goes. I’m so lucky that my parents accepted me and my girlfriend, and that I had her there for me through the big transition. I’m proud to be gay and to be living in a world that is slowly becoming more accepting, and I love who I am. Although I do believe I’ve always been gay, my transition to coming out and becoming a gay woman was easy and natural, and I think that really helped me and proves it was 100% normal and natural.