This is a super quick post, but it’s just something that’s been bugging me for a while and I hadn’t previously found how to put it into words so it made sense.
The fact is, some stuff about me is very gay. I love plaid shirts, I love rainbows, I think unicorns are great, I say ‘fabulous’ far too much… that stuff about me is very gay, and it just is cause that stuff is stereotypically gay – partly because (as with all stereotypes) the stereotype is true; as demonstrated by the fact I – and many other queer people – like these things. These are very ‘gay’ things, because a lot of gay people like them. Therefore they’ve become a part of gay culture. Just because I like them and therefore conform to a stereotype isn’t a bad thing. I don’t like them because I’m gay, it just so happens they’re considered gay and I also consider myself gay.
We can and do have stuff which is considered very gay – there’s tons of queer culture/ gay community stereotypes and inside jokes that we have on ‘how to spot a lesbian’ or stuff which is ‘so gay’ and that’s because these are stereotypes which tend to be true amongst the LGBT+ community. Sure, some queer people then feel they should abide by these stereotypes, but it is widely known that you’re not expected to; and we’re accepting of the fact loads of queer people don’t fit our stereotypes. But since many people do, they’ve become stereotypes and they’ve become a part of gay culture.
But just because we can and do have stuff which is ‘gay stuff’, doesn’t mean we can’t also have stuff we like or things about us which aren’t to do with our sexuality. Yes, I love watching TV shows with lesbian characters, and that’s probably because I’m gay; but I also enjoy sci-fi, and that’s probably just because I’m a three-dimensional person who has layers of personality which go beyond who I’m physically or romantically attracted to.
People sometimes think it’s wrong to consider certain things ‘gay’, but it’s not a bad word. To us, some things are gay and we don’t mind that being said. We don’t think you’re being insulting if you say that something – which is frequently worn/used/liked by gay people – is gay. The point is: us enjoying ‘gay’ things or fitting gay stereotypes doesn’t neglect the rest of our personality which isn’t related or dependent upon our sexuality. We aren’t solely our sexuality, but it is a big part of us – for some more than others. That is the point.